A new day & plan

We went to consult with Dr. Neal again this morning. We needed some answers, suggestions and a plan. He was just as disappointed as we were with the result because everything through the embryo transfer was "perfect," in their words. We looked at the embryos that we froze and found that the 7 that made it to the blastocyst stage were all "fair" or "good" in grade (another words they were "B's" and "A's"). We're going to thaw two embryos and do the transfer the week of August 29th. This time it will not be near as exhausting as I have already done the egg retrieval portion. I will have three sonograms & blood tests prior to the transfer and they begin on August 2nd. Next week I am scheduled for a Saline Hysterogram (FCSA) for them to ensure nothing is going on such as polyps. He didn't feel there was a need for this but suggested it as a peace of mind and another "rule out" tactic. I am nervous about doing this all at the beginning of school but I am just going to have to prioritize things. He said the percentages were a little lower doing the transfer with the frozen embryos but nothing majorly significant and he also reemphasized that everyone reacts to everything differently. He has had patients not ever get pregnant after the egg retrieval but has gotten pregnant with the frozen embryos -- so really it's an unknown game and we need some luck this time! I will be using hormone patches and Lupron injections prior to this transfer so less shots! We will still be transferring 2 embryos. We were one of the fortunate few that insurance picked up the costs of our drugs and we have a lot left over from the stimulation portion and we're going to donate them to our clinic to use at their discretion with patients in need. Our nurse, Kris, told us today that they have a lot of newly diagnosed cancer patients that come to their office for quick stimulation and egg retrieval so they are able to preserve fertility through chemotherapy and Dustin looked at me and said...."wow at least we're not in that boat." And that is so true -- we're healthy and that doesn't have a price tag. If push comes to shove in this process we can always adopt, and for now we feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to continue with this costly process. We're so very thankful we live in San Antonio and now see the reason behind Dustin getting his job here...I don't think we could find such a caring clinic and Dr.'s that are well respected in this field if we lived anywhere else. If we still lived in Levelland/Lubbock I don't even know if we would have these options and opportunities...so everything does happen for a reason.
For now -- we get to enjoy July. We're busy every weekend this month so time should fly by. We're going to Levelland Thursday and then on to Ruidoso Friday through the 4th and then Dustin is going to fly back to San Antonio to work and I am going to stay in Levelland to catch up with friends...but will return to San Antonio for my Saline Hysterogram that is scheduled for July 7th. I am no longer bound to San Antonio and feel I need to exercise this right! The following weekend we're going with the Adcocks to the coast and this gives us two fun weekends to look forward to and help us "move on." Thank you all for your calls and texts...we're doing ok. On the bright side of things...the anxiousness has been lifted from our shoulders and we got a good solid night's rest last night that I think we both really needed!

It didn't work...

Well as many of you know by now the June cycle of In Vitro did not work.... we are in shock and are of course extremely upset. We have a Dr.'s appointment tomorrow morning to figure out what our next step is and hopefully answer some questions. It has not been a good day at the Brooks' House, but we thank you all for your wonderful support and prayers. We will pick ourselves back up but need some time to heal. We don't understand this -- everything as you can read from previous posts went perfect and we do have 7 embryos frozen and are going to figure out our options with them. We will keep you posted! Love, - D & H

Anxious

4 days to go! We have been overall pretty calm and relaxed these two weeks but it certainly is always on our mind. I'm ready to know and hope these next days fly by! I have had headaches and acne...blaaa. Hope these are good signs??!! Guess we'll wait and see.... Monday is the big day. I will go in for a blood test only and they will call with the results. Depending on the result will depend on what our next step is. For now....we're cautiously optimistic!

4 years

This past Thursday was our 4 year anniversary. Time has flown! It really does seem like only yesterday.... We went to Grey Moss Inn for dinner between Boerne and Helotes. It was a very quaint and romantic place....and it is quite amazing how cheap your bill is when you don't have wine on your tab!
This weekend The Brooks (after 4 years as a Brooks I'm still not sure how to make our name plural: Brookses?? Too weird...) came to San Antonio for a weekend Father's Day celebration. We had some wonderful food and went to Boerne to shop on Saturday. But overall had a relaxing weekend catching up with JoeDee, Lisa, Ashley and Amber.
7 days and counting.... I have planned lots of evening outings and dinners for us this week to keep us busy. We got the news on Friday that 7 of our embryos made it to the blastocyst stage and were frozen for our later use if need be!

Embryo Transfer

The embryo transfer went perfectly yesterday. I had my relaxation medication they preferred me to take and I certainly believe that aided in yesterday's success. We had all 13 embryos grow to greater than 4 cells and the lab director literally told us it was a random pick they were making because they all looked so good. All of our embryos were graded "B," with "A" being the best and they rarely see all embryos be in the grade of "B," often times the grade is much lower. The grading system has a number of things they take into account but for our case the "B" was awarded because not all of the cells in the clusters were the exact same size. Seems a little picky to me...
We transferred two embryos that had 8 cells each simply because statistically the 8 cell embryos have more data of successful implantation. Still not quite sure why we wouldn't have transferred the 11 & 10 cell embryos but those will likely be frozen for future use if need be. We will know how many of the remaining embryos made it to the blastocyst stage and can be frozen, tomorrow.
Above is a picture of one of the embryos we transferred. The sonogram picture is of the embryos after the transfer is complete. Don't worry we can't really see much either. The arrow is pointing to an identifying liquid so that the Dr.'s know the embryos left the tube.
Dustin cried the entire day yesterday, he has just been filled with emotion. We both cried on the way to the appointment and he was able to stay in the room while the transfer was being conducted so as soon as I was left to recover he cried some more.....very sweet! It has just been a long road for us and we're both overwhelmed with joy for the opportunity!
I have felt exceptionally well which has made it that much harder to be on "bed rest." Daytime TV is just terrible! And who knew Regis and Kelly were canceled from the networks in San Antonio....rrruuuurrrr. Tomorrow I have an outing for a pedicure and lunch with Leslie so something to look forward to!
Today I have been a little emotional with the thoughts of: what if this doesn't work, etc., but I am sure that is natural to be questioning everything, but I am quick to remind myself of how well the transfer went, how pleased the Dr.'s were with the embryo and my body's reaction to my drugs.....so for now I am trying to stay positive and sane! 13 days....until the pregnancy test = torture! Thank you all again for your wonderful support and prayers!

Night Before Christmas...

We're anxious today...the day has gone by so incredibly slow. We slept in, went to church, had lunch, went to the grocery store, did some light shopping (for Dustin coin papers so he could count, collect and package his coins...yes we're looking for anything to pass the time), Dustin did some touch-up painting around the house and it is only 7:30! I have a feeling....time is going to creep for a while for us.
I feel like it is the night before Christmas or at least that is the closest comparison I can come up with.....essentially what hopefully happens tomorrow for us will forever change our lives. We're so incredibly happy about that....the thought of it all and the reality of "this may be the last night of us being childless," blows my mind! I will never forget the night before Jenn and Daniel went in to be induced to have Baby Aly...Dustin and I had a lengthy conversation on how weird that must feel for them...one day no child and the next forever they will be parents. It's a crazy thought to truly process.
I don't anticipate we will sleep at all tonight, but I did buy myself a new pillow for extra comfort over these next few days since I will be bound to bed. Overall, I am feeling better, but my stomach is still sore to the touch. Jeans & Seat belts = not on my favorite things list! It was nice to get out today, I had major cabin fever.
Our preparation for tomorrow begins at 6 am followed by a routine of drinking and retaining liquids which is then followed by a Valium....CHECK! I have been to the pharmacy so frequently over the last 6 months that when Dustin goes Mr. Patel (our pharmacist) asks him how I am doing and when I am seen pulling up to the window or walking up to the counter he automatically pulls my medications...haha! He told me the valium will likely make go in and out of sleep which is A-OK with me.
Well the time has come....wish us luck and lots of prayers! Two weeks from Monday we will know if it took or not. Following the procedure I have bed rest for 2 days and will then be down to 1 progesterone patch and 1 injection per day until we find out if we're pregnant or not. My box of meds has gotten substantially smaller!
P.S. We're only transferring two embryos -- not the full 13. What is left will then be frozen for future use if needed/wanted.

The egg retrieval went well yesterday. I slept most of the day following the procedure. I feel ok today and prefer laying around and don't feel quite like myself yet, but this is normal. They retrieved 15 eggs and the average is 8-10 so we were really excited! I just got the news this morning that 13 out of 15 of those eggs were fertilized! Which is another set of great news -- we could not be happier and more pleased with everything. I cannot compliment Fertility Center of San Antonio enough - the nurses and Dr.'s are all so very accommodating and have made this process so easy for us to understand and go through. They have treated us like they are just as invested in this process as we are. I have never been made to feel like they do this 10 times per day. The embryo transfer will take place on Monday at 11:30. We will know two weeks from Monday whether I am pregnant or not. As far as if they both took or just one -- we're not sure when we'll find that out, but "pregnant," will be good enough for us. For now -- I may need to call AT&T and get all of the movie channels added back to our package....this will likely be the longest 2 weeks of our lives. : )

Dustin Brooks, R.N.

Dustin has been a trooper! He has administered all of my injections and has taken to mixing drugs drawing back medications, changing needles etc. I feel like our bathroom has turned in to a nurses station and aseptic technique is a daily practice. Tonight at 10:30 I take my "most important," shot of this entire process to trigger my body to get ready for Friday's procedure. On one hand the Dr.'s work to stimulate my ovaries and produce a lot of big eggs and on the other hand they have to work to ensure my body doesn't naturally induce in to it's natural cycle and ovulate.
This morning's Dr.'s appointment went great. My estradiol levels were "perfect," and I have about 20-25 viable large eggs that will be retrieved on Friday. They measured from 15 mm - 20 mm which is again perfect. My retrieval is scheduled for 9:30 on Friday morning and the procedure should last 20-30 minutes. I get the full blown anesthesia so that in itself has helped me relax....the details of the procedure sound miserable. From there they will take the eggs and inject them with Dustin's sperm (hopefully his and not anyone else's haha kidding!) and by Saturday morning we will know how many embryos we have. On Friday they will tell me when my embryo transfer back to me will take place but it will likely take place on Monday. We are putting back in 2 embryos only....no octo-mom here! We will be freezing the rest so that I don't have to go through this part of the process if something doesn't work this time or we want to have another baby in the future. I am ready to quit being the Pillsbury Dough Boy (I AM FLUFFY AND PUFFY). 2 weeks after the transfer we will find out if it took or not. : )
We've had to be extra flexible in this process and I couldn't be happier that we waited to do this now instead of during the school year. I go daily for blood and every other day for blood, sonogram and consultation so they can be time consuming. Dustin's boss has been great and very understanding and has allowed Dustin the opportunity to work from home on Friday and Monday and any other days as needed....so that has alleviated that stress as well.
This weekend is Jessica & Nick's wedding (Dustin's cousins) in Valera and we're not going to be able to make it. We tried to work it out where Dustin could go but since we're now in the part of the process where his participation is vital we can't make it work. We're very very sad because we know what a great time it will be. : (
That's my update for Wednesday. Thank you all for your wonderful support, love and prayers. We're so thankful to have you all in our lives. : )

This Week...

We had another appointment this morning and everything still looks great. I have progressed a little slower than the "average" in-vitro-goer, but that's ok I'm happy I'm on summer and can take this time to relax. I go back on Wednesday for the final "go" date but as of today it is Friday. I found out for certain I am entirely out during the procedure-- will not remember a thing and I could not be happier about that. 3 days following the egg retrieval will be the embryo transfer so right now that looks like it will take place on Monday.
I'm at 3 injections per day in the stomach but those will soon be ending....thank the heavens.... Following all of these procedures we will then be injecting one time daily in the hip for 6-8 weeks--sounds like a lot, but somehow I have found some inner strength to suck this up. : )
We are getting so excited! I'm in quite a bit of pain today and the nurses just giggle at me -- as it will only get worse before it gets better. I have grown approximately 15 follicles and when they are around 17 mm we will go ahead with the retrieval. Today I measured 14 mm and a few 16 mm so we're close. Summed up I have a lot and they are getting big....causing me lots of bloating and pain in my abdomen and back. I don't sleep much for lack of comfort but my eye is on the prize. : )
I plan to catch up on The Real Housewives of every city, OWN Network, HGTV and Food Network. Aside from your prayers that this works I think you now may need to include Dustin in your prayers. This morning I woke him up at 4:30 to see if he wanted to go and get breakfast.....he was actually not mad....and we went out for some 5 am fresh Shipley's Donuts. I'm hungry all the time but can't eat all that much -- but makes for some fun AM fieldtrips.
Today I finished up work and closed out the year until August. I have decided I can be reached by phone and e-mail. Everything else can wait until August. Prioritizing -- myself and this process. Ok....now back to another episode of House Hunters.